2 years...

I don't like to think about it, because if I do it will come even faster. In 2 years (technically 1 year 6 months) I will be 30 years old, where the hell did it all go? All the things that I was suppose to accomplish when I was 18 has not happened yet. I'm not the famous actor, nor director, and screenwriter, and I'm not yet married with chern (I'm actually happy that that last one has not yet had a chance to happen). The only that I have been able to do is graduate from collage, at least there's something to be proud of. I'm not disappointed that any of those things have not yet happened for me, I am more disappointed in myself for not working hard enough to make those things happen. I let to many non-factors get in the way, I worried so much about keeping a job that I hated, I evidently let it take over my life, I started feeling sorry for myself, and I thought there was no way out and I let myself believe that my life was over. Not keeping my eyes on the road ahead let apathy set in, and apathy leads to death for anyone's dreams. I realized all of this last night while talking to a friend, we were both talking about how fucked up our lives were because of our jobs, I was trying to get her to understand that it's not over for us we can still make things happen for us as long as we stay committed to our goals, and while telling her this I unleashed some wisdom on to myself. I have given up on everything that I've wanted to do, my film, my writing, finding the perfect women for me. Apathy is a MOTHERFUCKER!!!! The first thing that I'm adding to my list of changes is to stay committed and to re-commit myself to all the things that I wanted and still want to do with my life.

Hopes this helps anybody who reads it.

Peace and LOVE.

Thank You...

Due to our lagging economy I have the day off and every other friday until further notice. I don’t know wather to be overjoyed or a little bit concerned, but at this present time I just decided to enjoy it while its here, things could be worse.

Anytime I have a day off I always think about changing my life in one way. Its always fun to entertain ideas on what I can start to do differently, of course I never change in anyway, then its back to the grind of my normal life. Now I’m starting to realize that it is time for things to change, I’m two years away from 30 and I have yet to really live my life. So what am I gonna do? So I wont quit on changes to quickly I’m gonna start small; I’m gonna create a list on the things that I want to change about myself and also a list on the things that I want to do. By doing this I hope to at least keep my mind on the changes and not let the events of the normalness of life bring me down. So what’s gonna be on my list? I don’t know yet, but thank God I have a day off to figure it out.

I’ll keep ya posted